Inadequate
by phantasiagirl
Summary: Because no couple is perfect. There's a saying that goes "for the number of days you're in love, there's an equal number of days you're insecure." Anita certainly thinks so, considering who her boyfriend's neighbor is.


Okaaaay! I know I should totally be writing for The Gilligan Files but I've been bit with the Grand Bazaar bug. Now this idea spawned from the fact that part of me actually wants to play as a boy for once (which I normally have no interest in doing, ehe) so I can woo Freya. She's so pretty, holy crap. :/ But yeah, I kind of figured that the main girl would get a little insecure with a rival like Freya so here you go!

And about the main girl's name, I read on the Harvest Moon wiki (unreliable source of information, I know) that she's commonly known as "Anita." I originally wrote this without revealing a name for her at all but it made some sentences awkward, in my opinion. Buuut if you want me to change it back or if info comes out about real default names, I'll change it right away. Also, I debated rather heavily between using Ivan or Juris (I love his Japanese name and usually call him by that) but decided on using Ivan for the final version since I like all the other name changes and I wanted to keep it consistent. I also picture Ivan to be several years older than the MC. He seems to be around twenty-six or so to me (while Lloyd on the other hand seems to be even older than that though not pushing thirty yet) and Dirk seems to be around eighteen or nineteen or so. And the age gap between the brothers seems to be plausible, since Ivan had to take care of Dirk since he was little and had a lot more memories of their parents.

* * *

It was only on a whim that she decided to take up farming. It seemed interesting enough and she had wanted to do something with her life. Never had she imagined getting so wrapped up in the weekly bazaar just as much as the rest of the villagers. Never had she imagined growing so close to some of the residents to the point that she almost viewed some of them as family.

And, to say the least, she certainly never imagined herself falling in love.

To be honest, Anita first thought that Ivan was already taken. It took her a few days to actually get around to meeting the teacher but she had seen him walking in and out of town with his neighbor, Freya on several occasions both before and after their first introductions. It wasn't until getting to better know both him and his brother that she found out otherwise.

And yet…she still found herself constantly comparing herself to the older woman. She, at the tender age of twenty, seemed to be eternally clumsy and had somewhat of a bad habit of always speaking what was on her mind, whether it be tactless or not. Freya, however, was not only several years older and closer to Ivan's age, but she also was graceful, tact, and had a sharp mind and level head on her shoulders. While the age difference between her and Ivan didn't bother Anita too much (after all, six years wasn't that much of a difference, right?) everything else did. Ivan was smart, calm, mature, patient…and _sophisticated_. He was everything she wasn't and everything Freya _was_. That isn't to say she didn't love him, however. She enjoyed the slow walks they had around town, the nights at the café or at his home after both their workdays were over. She especially loved those rainy afternoons where they would just hole up in his and Dirk's library on the loveseat reading even though he sometimes pushed books on her she didn't understand. His gentle smile and warm chuckle never failed to make her heart skip a beat and her knees weak.

But even so, part of her still felt that someone like Freya would be a better match. Someone who could have a quiet intellectual conversation with him instead of her chatting incessantly about her farm and anything else that came to mind. Someone who could understand the more difficult books and not have to just pretend to. Someone who…wasn't a mere farmer.

She'd voiced her concerns to Dirk once (in a roundabout way and not mentioning Freya at all) but the young man merely laughed before bending down to wipe one of the café tables clean. "Are you kidding me? All I have to do is ask when you're coming over and he starts blushing. Hehe, he doesn't think that I notice but I do." He had winked at her with a grin.

But that was at the end of summer. It was almost a whole season later now, and the weather was steadily gaining a strong chill each passing day. They had celebrated his birthday a week ago and Ivan had been delighted by the two bottles of Herb Perfume she'd bought him from a friend's bazaar stand, saying that he'd have to get her something extra special for hers next season. She just smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek while trying not to think of the hole she'd blown in her savings to get them. Oh well, his smile made it all worth it in the end.

However, Anita was still hurting a bit. She had sold some produce and flowers to Raul on the sly to earn a little cash on the spot but she knew that her best bet of recouping her losses would be at the bazaar on Sunday. This was why she had spent almost her entire day hunting for the ever elusive Aegis Dragonflies, sure to net her a lot of money from the older men and younger children that visited her stand every week. It was just a pain to try and catch the insects with the way they haphazardly flew in every which direction as if to taunt their potential captors.

"Come here…you!" Anita growled as she dashed forward, cage in hand. As soon as she was within range, she sprung forward with a grunt and made a swipe at the silver bellied dragonfly. It easily evaded her attempt and zigzagged by the hotel a few times before speeding off to the front of the windmill. She heaved a sigh, part of her wondering if it was really worth it, but quickly shook her head. Yes, it was. Making her way to the dragonfly's vicinity, she found that it had moved to the bridge. Her eyebrows furrowed and she followed suit.

Surprisingly, it didn't move. The dragonfly seemed to be waiting for her. Well, she wasn't about to back down from a challenge when she saw one. Her lips curved into a tiny frown and she crept forward until she was able to take one small gentle step on the edge of the bridge. Still, it didn't move. After a few moments of hesitation, she took a deep breath before leaping forward with a small yell. Again, it dodged neatly to the side but this time she refused to give up her relentless assault and continued to jump after it again and again as it zigzagged all over the bridge.

"Get back here—yes! I got—ah?" With a final leap forward, she somehow managed to pluck the demon dragonfly out of the air. Unfortunately, however, she had also lost awareness of her surroundings in the process and that final leap forward placed her just beyond the railing of the bridge. With a squeak, she lost her hold on the dragonfly in favor of flailing her arms before tumbling into the near icy river.

Even under the surface, Anita was sure she distinctly heard someone calling her name. Though the water pricked her skin like needles and made her body feel infinitely more sluggish, it didn't take much effort to propel herself to the surface. To her surprise though, there was now a second occupant joining her in the river.

"I-Ivan?" she stuttered, half from shock and half from the cold. Winter was right around the corner after all.

"Are you alright?" he asked frantically, grabbing hold of her arm in one hand and her hat in the other before tugging her towards the bank. His plum colored jacket laid there discarded in the grass. "What in the world were you doing?"

"D-Dr-Dragonfly…" she shivered, trying not to let her teeth chatter too much. He merely sighed and draped his jacket around her shoulders before wrapping an arm around her and leading her towards the bridge.

"You need to be more careful," he chided gently, rubbing her arm with his free hand while the other kept a firm grip on her dripping hat.

She was about to ask why he was there in the first place until she remembered. It was Thursday; he taught in the city three days a week. With her question answered before she even had a chance to ask, Anita just chose to look down at the ground as they walked. "Sorry…" she mumbled, feeling her cheeks heat up. It almost felt like a child getting scolded by their parents. It made sense in a way; Ivan had taken on the role of parent to Dirk, who was only two years younger than her, at an early age due to the death of their parents. She suddenly felt very embarrassed. He probably thought her silly, going so far to catch a mere dragonfly.

"Are you alright?" Ivan asked again, snapping her out of her thoughts. She looked up at him and was met with eyes full of worry.

Her sense of embarrassment increased but she hid it with a sheepish smile. "Just a little tired," she replied. It wasn't entirely a lie; both the chase and the impromptu swim in the river were beginning to take a toll on her body.

Ivan nodded. "I'd expect so. Let's sit down for a moment." He gently began to steer her off to the side of the bridge to the riverbank just across from his usual spot by the windmill. A gentle breeze swept through the area, causing them both to shiver, and he smiles apologetically as they both took a seat.

Anita shook her head in response and looked down towards the rippling surface of the water, clutching the purple jacket tighter around her. Somehow, she couldn't imagine Freya falling in the water like that. She couldn't imagine the older woman catching bugs either, for that matter. She knew that she loved butterflies but she doubted that Freya would go out of her way to find or capture them. "I…" she began but soon trailed off, unwilling to voice her concerns.

"Something else is bothering you." Ivan didn't phrase it as a question. A quick hesitant glance at his face revealed more of that concern that did nothing to quell the feeling of unease in the pit of her stomach.

"I-I'm sorry." When she only received a puzzled look in response, she reluctantly continued. "You…think I'm childish, don't you?"

There was a long silence and this time she didn't have the courage to look at him. It was only when he spoke in such a bewildered tone that she turned. "I…what?"

"I-I mean," she paused, his reaction confusing her somewhat as well. "Here it is, almost the beginning of winter and-and I'm hunting for bugs of all things, only to make myself look stupid in the process—"

"I've fallen into the river before—" Ivan began, but she already had the ball rolling and couldn't stop now.

"That's not all!" She shook her head fiercely again and her still dripping hair sent water flinging in every which direction. She could feel her ears and fingers growing numb from the cold but she didn't care about that now. "I-I'm always just chattering on about everything and nothing and never let you get a word in edgewise. I…I'm not that smart or pretty—" _compared to Freya_ "—and I'm the youngest of three kids and I grew up spoiled so that automatically makes me immature and—" She honestly didn't know where she was going with this anymore. However, a gentle finger on her lips silenced her.

Ivan's expression was stern. "Why does being the youngest automatically make you immature? Who told you that you were childish for that matter?"

All of the fervor that filled her body only moments before drained out as if someone pulled a plug on her emotions. "N…Nobody. It's just…"

He shook his head. "You are one of the most hardworking and dedicated people that I have ever met. It takes diligence and a positive mindset to do the things that you have done. Since you've arrived to Zephyr Town, we've made leaps and bounds to accomplish what we couldn't for years in only three short seasons. Someone who's childish or immature wouldn't be able to last as long as you have. They wouldn't be able to do all that you have already done for us."

Anita remained silent throughout his small speech. Tears were beginning to prick at the corners of her eyelids so she quickly turned away with a small chuckle. "You…totally deserve someone better," she murmured to herself with a wry smile.

Needless to say, she wasn't expecting Ivan to hear her. Or maybe she meant for him to. She wasn't sure. But the alarm in his voice was evident. "Wh-What?"

Furiously wiping at the tears that threatened so spill down her face, she quickly backtracked. "I-I mean, like I said, I'm not that pretty or—"

"I think you're beautiful—" he began but once again it was too late. Her ball was rolling again. All of the worries that she had been bottling up for weeks and weeks were bursting out all at once.

"You say I'm not childish but isn't it childish to get so insecure like this?" she continued almost frantically before her voice lowered again to a mumble. "You need…someone who's stronger, more mature, someone who doesn't trip on air like I do, someone…" she trailed off miserably.

"Someone like…?" Ivan prompted softly. She could see his face out of the corner of her eye but his expression was unreadable.

She didn't say anything for several moments, scrambling, before deciding that there was simply no use in lying to him. "Someone like…I don't know, maybe…Freya." Her voice was almost inaudible.

Ivan heard it anyway. "Freya…?" he sounded confused. "Why would you think that? Freya's my neighbor and a friend but…"

"I don't know, she's just…" Anita was beginning to feel very stupid, to say the least. "She's everything I'm not. Graceful, mature, smart, beautiful, feminine…"

"But why do you think she would be better for me?" Ivan still sounded bewildered.

"Because!" Her head snapped up to look at him adamantly. "You're kind, patient, caring, mature—" With every word the color on Ivan's cheeks seemed to intensify, "and you not only teach the children in the city, you help out Cindy and Lauren every week too! You're dedicated!"

"I-I'm flattered you think so highly of me," he responded with a small smile, cheeks still a deep shade of pink. His expression sobered in the next moment though and he gave her a stern look. "However, you shouldn't think so little of yourself." When she gave him only a curious stare in return, he sighed, sounding a touch exasperated. "You don't seem to realize how important you are to this town. To me." This time it was her turn to blush and the smile made its way back to his lips, wider this time. "I've told you before how kind, generous, and how very thoughtful you are. I enjoy your company more than you can imagine. I feel…comfortable with you. So please…don't put yourself down like this."

She couldn't think of anything to say. Lowering her head, she drew the jacket around herself once more and stared at her feet. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "No, I'm glad you told me what was bothering you. I wish you would tell me these things sooner though, instead of keeping it to yourself…" he sighed. "For example, I wish you would tell me when a book I recommend doesn't interest you."

Her head snapped up to look at him, her expression utterly mortified. "Y-You knew…?"

He chuckled. "I had a suspicion. I've noticed that the pages of some of the books I lend you are dog-eared while a few of them aren't."

Her cheeks heated up and she spluttered. "I-It's not that I'm not interested, it's just that some of them are…a little over my head," she confessed.

"And that isn't a crime in the slightest."

Anita couldn't help but smile at that and let out a tiny giggle. This seemed to please him and he relaxed, his violet eyes softening. Smile widening, she scooted over to snuggle against him and he wrapped an arm around her in return. "Hey…" she murmured, reveling in the warmth that she could feel through his jacket, "Did you really fall into the river before? I can't imagine it."

Ivan's body tensed for a split second and he coughed lightly into his free hand. "Well…yes. Just a few days ago, in fact."

"Really? I didn't hear anything about it."

"Well, there weren't many people out and the one person who saw me promised not to say a word," he replied, a little embarrassed. "But I was simply lost in thought by the café and, er, misjudged the distance to the end of the dock."

She giggled again, though this time it was in an effort to not just laugh at him outright. "What were you thinking about?"

"Ah, um. Well it was nothing of importance, really," he mumbled.

Curious, she looked up at him only to see his face more flushed than she had ever seen it. A wide grin spread across her face and she reached up to poke his cheek, the jacket slipping from her shoulders in the process. "Oh, come on, that's not—"

The wind chose that moment to pick up, sweeping a little more strongly through the area and causing the pair to shudder violently with it. While he was only wet from the waist down, Anita was still all but soaked from head to toe. Alarmed, Ivan quickly rose to his feet, pulling her along with him. "I'm sorry, you still must be freezing. Do you mind if we stop by my house first? You can stay for dinner if you'd like."

She grinned and slipped her arms into the sleeves of his slightly-too-big jacket so she could hold his hand. "I'd love to!"

He smiled back and intertwined his fingers with hers. "Glad to hear it. I hope you don't mind wearing a few of my clothes while yours dry. I'm afraid my brother and I don't…"

"Don't worry about it," she replied easily, giving his hand a small squeeze. They walked in comfortable silence for a while after that and it wasn't until they crossed the bridge into the main part of town that she paused. "Hey, Ivan?"

"Hm?" He turned to look at her but he wasn't able to say anything else as she leaned forward on the balls of her feet to kiss him. When she pulled back her face was a rosy pink and she smiled shyly. "I just wanted to do that."

After a moment he laughed and reciprocated the gesture in the form of a small peck on her lips before taking her hand again. She wasted no time in catching up to his side as they made their way to his house.

So okay, she wasn't perfect. Though she was still a little insecure when it came to their relationship and a part of her still thought that he could do better, she was still the one he had chosen. He enjoyed her company just as much as she did his.

Ivan shifted a little so he could walk closer to her. "During our conversation…I don't think I ever made myself clear. But…you do know that I love you, right?"

She wasn't perfect and would probably never be.

With a smile as bright as the summer sun, Anita nodded and gave his hand another squeeze. "I know."

She could live with that.

* * *

As always, reviews are love and I'd love some feedback! I'm only in the fall of my first year (though I have Juris at full hearts) so I'm not sure if I have his personality down right. I'm also not good friends with Freya yet but that's okay, since this is basically Anita's glorified view of her due to her insecurity. :D

**Fun Fact**: The whole Ivan-falling-in-the-river thing is true. If you have wifi, you can link up with a friend and the villagers talk about different things. If you talk to Freya, she mentions that he fell in and though he's a hard worker, he sometimes has his head in the clouds. XD I just changed it a bit for my purposes. Can you guess what he was thinking about?


End file.
